Notes:
Good Grief
It is important to understand the place of grief in the process of healing and recovery.
- Grief is our response to loss
- Grief is the pain that heals
“Sorrow is better than laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better” (Ecc.7:3).
There is a difference between miraculous healing and recovery healing. Miraculous healing is instant; recovery healing is gradual. We can identify at least three stages in the grief process:
1) Believing
The first reaction to loss is one of shock, which makes us feel out of control. It is usually characterized by either disbelief or denial.
- Disbelief = we cannot believe that the loss has occurred.
- Denial = we will not accept that the loss has occurred.
We must accept the reality and the finality of the loss.
2) Grieving
Once the reality of loss is accepted, grief work can begin. This includes coming to terms with all the implications of the loss. This will involve owning and working through various negative emotions.
Grief needs to be not only felt, but expressed. The two most helpful ways is through tears and talk.
No one who has sustained loss needs permission to grieve. In fact, they must either express their grief or suffer the consequences
3) Leaving
Remember, grief is God’s way of finishing with the bad; it was never intended to be a life sentence.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psa.30:5).
The psalmist said, “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring; the rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion” (Psa.84:5-7).
One psychologist’s definition of prolonged grief = “the baggage of unfinished sadness”.
‘Leaving’ involves:
- Accepting
- Assessing
- Adjusting
God will heal you. Jesus said, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted” (Lk.4:18).
Grieving is God’s way for us to let go of pain so that we can lay hold of new beginnings. “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him” (Psa.126:5-6).
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