Notes:
The Shame Game
Guilt is the feeling that I did wrong. Shame is the feeling that I am wrong.
Guilt is a personal, private awareness of moral failure leading to a feeling of low self-esteem. Shame is the sense of lacking value in the presence of others leading to inferiority.
When I am guilty I don’t want to face myself. When I feel shame I don’t want to face others.
We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for who we are.
Guilt says something is wrong with my behavior. Shame says something is wrong with me
Guilt says, “I made a mistake.” Shame says, “I am a mistake.”
Guilt says, “You’ll pay for this.” Shame says, “You have no value.”
Guilt is the fear of punishment. Shame is the fear of abandonment.
Guilt strikes at my conscience. Shame strikes at my identity.
- The roots of shame are often traced to our family of origin. God has designed that we should receive love, protection and care in the family. Every child born into a family is totally defenceless and dependable on the family that surrounds it for love and protection.
- When there is a breakdown in the human family there are profound emotional and personality effects in the children involved.
- A child that is brought up in a loving atmosphere and home faces all future relationships with security and confidence.
- A child that has felt rejection during childhood will grow up to be defensive, fearful and suspicious concerning future relationships
- 3 parental attitudes that are absolutely necessary for a secure and wholesome personality are acceptance, affection and approval
- Our duty to honour our parents does not require us to endorse or deny any treatment we received which has been damaging to us.
Rejection can result in different consequences. Examples:
- a) Spiritual consequences
- b) Physical consequences
- c) Emotional consequences
Only God can minister effectively to the rejected. See Psa.27:10.
If a person has been rejected, God knows all about it. In fact Jesus suffered rejection more than any other person. Isa.53:3-4. He was rejected for us. He bore our rejection. He was rejected:
- By religious authorities
- By His own people
- By His disciples
- By His Father
The path to freedom from the shame of rejection
- Be willing to part with your rejection
- Forgive all who have ever rejected you
- Believe God’s acceptance and receive His love
- Ask God to make you a whole person
- If God gives you an emotional release, let it flow
- Ask God for a spirit of meekness
- Draw confidence from your relationship with God
# Answers to this quiz are found in the notes above. Click on quiz to commence. Only correct spelling is recognised. A minimum 70% correct is required to advance to the next session.